"Are you sure you're not a snake? You're awfully big to be a worm."
|From: Dr. Worm|
|Either||Young Girl or Boy||PETE|
|Either||Adult: Any Age||DR. WORM|
This is the beginning of the play. Read on...
(Note: the dialogue is gender-neutral, so that the roles could be played by the opposite sex, with a change of the boy's name to Patty.)
The full script of "Dr. Worm" is available for purchase as part of "Short Plays for Young Actors and Audiences, Volume 1" (in hard copy or download form) at
Part of Matthew's online script store
copyright 2003 by Matthew A. Everett
With a mighty heave, DR. WORM flops into view over an object that could represent the edge of the hole he calls home.
He sputters and crawls off the edge of the object and onto the floor.
At that moment, PETE, a young boy, hurries on, covering his head with a newspaper.
PETE nearly steps on DR. WORM.
DR. WORMHey! Watch where you're walkin', kid!
DR. WORMPerson could get squished!
PETEYou're not a person.
DR. WORMWell, if you want to get technical about it --
PETEAre you a snake?
DR. WORMA snake?! I should say not. Why, the very idea is insulting!
PETEThen what are you?
DR. WORMA worm. Dr. Worm, to you, kid.
PETEI've got a name, too, you know.
DR. WORMWell, what is it?
DR. WORMThanks for not stepping on me, Pete. I'd shake your hand but I don't have any.
PETEAre you sure you're not a snake? You're awfully big to be a worm.
DR. WORMI'm highly evolved.
PETESo you won't bite me?
DR. WORMHey, you can step on me. I want to stay on your good side. Besides --
DR. WORM thrusts his butt in the air.
DR. WORM (continued)No fangs, not even teeth, see?
PETEI don't think that's your mouth.
DR. WORMYou sure?
PETEYou're talking from that end.
DR. WORMOh. Well, sounds come out of that end, too, sometimes, but there's normally a smell involved as well. Better stick to this end.
DR. WORM lowers his butt.
PETEWhat are you doing out here were you can get stepped on?
DR. WORMIt's raining.
PETE takes away the newspaper from his head.
It has stopped raining.
PETEIt's not raining anymore.
DR. WORMHow nice for you. But it's not that simple. I live underground. My living room's flooded right now. I'd rather be a little moist that drowning, wouldn't you?
PETEWhy don't you just live above ground?
DR. WORMTwo words. Birds and feet like yours.
PETEThat's more than two words.
DR. WORMAre you arguing with Dr. Worm?
PETEHow can you be a doctor?
DR. WORMIt's an honorary degree.
DR. WORMMy sterling command of the English language.
PETEI speak English.
DR. WORMAh yes, but do you also speak Worm?
DR. WORMHelp me back up on the edge of my hole, would you? I need to get out of the high traffic area or I'll lose my tail.
PETE helps DR. WORM schlump up onto the object again which he first crawled over to appear at the start.
DR. WORMMany thanks.
DR. WORMWell, go on, ask away.
DR. WORMSurely you must have some kind of question for a worm with my wealth of knowledge.
PETENo. Not really.
DR. WORMOh, come on. One question.
DR. WORMJust a little one.
PETEYou just want to show off.
DR. WORMWell, yes. Is there something wrong with that?
PETEI guess not.
DR. WORMCome on. I don't get out much. Just a tiny question.
PETEWhat's your favorite word?
DR. WORMOh, that's easy! Uh --
PETEShould I give you a hint?
DR. WORMNo, don't be silly. I'll have it in just a second. Aha! Crossword.
PETE holds out his newspaper, revealing a crossword puzzle.
PETEOh, you mean this? I love doing these.
DR. WORMOh. That's a crossword? No. Not that. I didn't mean that. Not "crossword" then. Hmmm. Just a minute. Oh. Backward!
PETE hops backward.
DR. WORM (continued)What are you doing?
PETEYou said "backward."
DR. WORMReally? That's backward?
PETE hops backward again.
DR. WORM (continued)OK. Not that. Um...crossword, backward...
PETEDo you need some help?
(there's more, but the conclusion of the story isn't available for viewing on this website)
copyright 2003 by Matthew A. Everett