Scene Detail

"Plastic explosives? Cassandra, are you crazy?"

From: Cassandra 2006
6 Characters
Gender Age Character Name
Female Adult: Any Age DELORES
Female Adult: Any Age CLIENTS OF DR. MARGY (one or all of the actresses not playing Dr. Margy)
Female Adult: Any Age DR. MARGY
Female Adult: Any Age ANNOUNCER / HIGHER STANDARD REP
Female Adult: Any Age TIFFANY / BACKNE SPOKESMODEL
Female Adult: Any Age CASSANDRA
 
Setup:
This is the complete play from the beginning. Read on...
 

Scene

copyright 2006 by Cherie Anderson and Matthew A. Everett


CASSANDRA 2006


CASSANDRA (Masked Woman #1) and TIFFANY slowly approach the enemy compound - hair-tossing may be involved.


TIFFANY

I'll circle around the back to plant the listening device while you provide cover.

CASSANDRA pulls out an explosive charge with a timer on it.


CASSANDRA

I don't think so.

TIFFANY

Plastic explosives? Cassandra, are you crazy?

CASSANDRA

Maybe.

TIFFANY

How did you get your hands on that?

CASSANDRA

Let's just say, improper channels.

TIFFANY

I thought we agreed --

CASSANDRA

I agreed to listen. But you're wrong. He has to pay.

TIFFANY

What kind of justice is this?

CASSANDRA

Personal. Personal justice.

TIFFANY

You didn't listen at all.

CASSANDRA

No one listens to me. I tell them how it's going down, but they don't believe me. They think I'm crazy. Just like you. Until it happens.

TIFFANY

You can't live a life fueled by nothing but vengeance.

CASSANDRA

That's where you're wrong. Vengeance is the only thing keeping me alive.

TIFFANY

What did he do to you, Cassandra?

CASSANDRA

He cursed me. He condemned me to a life looking like this.

CASSANDRA rips off her mask so that only TIFFANY, not the audience, can see.

TIFFANY gasps.

Freeze frame.


ANNOUNCER

In a moment, scenes from next week's "Cassandra."

As the ANNOUNCER speaks, the mask is handed off to the actress playing TIFFANY, now MASKED WOMAN #2, who sits down for the following confessional commercial. If this were really TV, we'd be in a tight close up on her face.


MASKED WOMAN #2 (Tiffany)

They literally gasped when they saw me in my bathing suit. I don't know how I'll be able to show my face at the pool. Back-nee Begone, you're my only hope.

ANNOUNCER

Backnee-Begone carries a low risk of sexual side-effects. In some limited cases, patients experienced extreme abdominal discomfort and really hard poopies. See your doctor if your symptoms persist.

MASKED WOMAN #2

Now when they're checking out my rear, I can hold my head up high.

She turns to walk out of camera and then looks over her shoulder at the audience.


MASKED WOMAN #2 (cont'd)

Thanks for letting me get "back" into the game.

Another actress (DR. MARGY) pushes into MASKED WOMAN #2 and rips the mask off her face to put on hers instead (Dr. Margy thus becomes Masked Woman #3)


DR. MARGY (Masked Woman #3)

You think I got my 2006 model violet Mini Cooper with retractable sunroof and leopard skin interior by honoring my feelings? Get real, people. You know what you need.

ACTRESS # 1

My boyfriend yells at my cat and he's getting a rash from the stress.

DR. MARGY

Get ointment for the boyfriend. Dump the cat.

ACTRESS # 2

My mother never listens to me.

DR. MARGY

You need to put her in a home.

ACTRESS # 3

My boss won't give me a raise.

DR. MARGY

You need to initiate a hostile takeover.

ACTRESS # 4

I think my dog is scared of the refrigerator.

DR. MARGY

You need to get laid.

ACTRESS # 5

I need more compassion, I need validation. I need --

DR. MARGY

To get real.

DR. MARGY stares down the audience.


DR. MARGY (cont'd)

Tuesdays at 11:00am.

DR. MARGY rips the mask off her face and tosses it at one of the other actors, who then puts on the mask (becoming MASKED WOMAN #4) and sits down to begin her intake for A Higher Standard dating service.


MASKED WOMAN #4

I feel like I'm at the point in my life, where I'm really ready to let someone in. You know, before, I was willing to let them see just the blazingly successful yet adorable facade. I was willing to let them do a lot of things. But no more. I want someone to see the real me, not just give me clamydia. Can you help me?

HIGHER STANDARD REP

Yes, Dolores. Yes I can. Here at "A Higher Standard" we've made many matches based on truth, respect, and disease-free sexual relations. Sound too good to be true? Then you need "A Higher Standard." Call in the next five minutes and you will receive a free gift certificate to Lenny's Steak House and Sushi Bar. Call now. Your Higher Standard is waiting.

ANNOUNCER

Next time, on "Cassandra."

CASSANDRA speaks into her headset.


CASSANDRA

We got punk activity. Repeat. We got confirmation of punk activity.

CASSANDRA attempt to do a split.


TIFFANY

Not the split! Are you insane?

CASSANDRA

He cursed me. He condemned me to a life looking like this.

This time we see the mask ripped away, revealing a conventionally attractive woman. It is clear, however, that CASSANDRA feels she is unspeakably ugly. TIFFANY gasps.


TIFFANY

That bastard! Oh, Cassandra!

CASSANDRA

Now do you understand?

TIFFANY

Forget the plastic explosives. He can't go that easy. Go get the radioactive loofa. We'll give him a facial he'll never forget!

ANNOUNCER

And now, your local news...




copyright 2006 by Cherie Anderson and Matthew A. Everett

© Matthew A Everett
matthewaeverett.com