People dont look up much anymore.
|From: How To Date A Werewolf; or, Loneseome, Wild and Blue|
|Either||Adult: Any Age||TERRY|
|Either||Adult: Any Age||THIRD ACTOR (3)|
If youre a werewolf, dating is hard enough. But when your ex is a zombie who just wont go away, that can complicate matters. A romantic comedy with a supernatural twist, because everybodys a monster a couple of days a month.
Terry has recently been diagnosed with latent lycanthropy - a carrier of the werewolf virus, which can be spread through sexual contact. In a restaurant, Terrys date, Robin, reminds them of Terrys doctor, and a memory of a recent medical appointment. When Robin steps off to the restroom, the waiter arrives. The waiter turns out to be Glenn, the zombie remains of Terrys former lover, who has some unfinished personal business with Terry. But then, Terry has unfinished personal business with Glenn as well.
(This play is written to be non-gender-specific, so the actors could be in any combination of male or female. Adjust the pronouns accordingly.)
Characters may be played by either gender, but should probably either be all male, or all female (bisexuality still seems to confuse people, for some reason)
Feel free to mix things up in terms of race, age, disability, etc. If they're old it means one thing, if they're young it means another.
In this scene, Robin returns to see Terry after their awkward first attempt at a date - where Terry revealed their werewolf diagnosis and Robin beat a hasty retreat.
The full text of How To Date A Werewolf (part of Short Plays, volume 3) and other plays can be purchased at http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/matthewaeverett
Copyright 2013 by Matthew A. Everett
3 reappears, this time as ROBIN again. Hopeful, in a coat.
3 (ROBIN) brings a balloon onstage with her.
3 (ROBIN)Thanks for meeting me.
TERRYIm really glad you called.
3 (ROBIN)I want to try.
3 (ROBIN)Its just...
3 (ROBIN)I liked you before.
Before I knew.
And youre the same person.
Most of the time.
3 (ROBIN)Sex is always complicated anyway.
3 (ROBIN)Neither one of us was gonna put out on the first date anyway, right?
TERRYI dont think weve even had a first date. Yet.
3 (ROBIN)I was kinda hoping maybe
3 (ROBIN)Dry run?
Give it a shot?
We could actually get to know each other better first.
With our clothes on.
3 (ROBIN)Radical concept, I know but...
TERRYI didnt know we were supposed to bring balloons.
3 (ROBIN)Oh. No. Sorry. This is for you.
3 (ROBIN) presents the balloon to TERRY.
TERRY and 3 (ROBIN)s hands touch.
They catch their breath.
Its been a while for both of them.
Neither wants to break it off.
But neither wants to push it too far.
An awkward non-verbal negotiation that leads to separation of hands.
3 (ROBIN)Yeah, I was thinking flowers, but flowers wilt.
TERRYSo do balloons, Robin.
3 (ROBIN)Yeah, but flowers die. Balloons were never alive.
TERRYJust to be clear, Im not angling for flowers.
3 (ROBIN)I didnt think you were. That would be OK. If you like flowers. You deserve flowers. I just thought --
TERRYYou were trying for something original.
3 (ROBIN)Exactly. Plus, flowers weigh you down. And a balloon lifts you up, gets you to look up. People dont look up much anymore.
TERRYWe have our gadgets.
3 (ROBIN)Yeah. When Im outdoors now, I take out the earbuds and tuck the phone in my back pocket and just unplug for a while. Id forgotten how long it had been since I last looked up at anything. You know, upper floors and roofs of buildings, trees, sky. Peoples faces even.
TERRYIt makes it so much easier to gawk at them, though.
3 (ROBIN)Everyones in their own little bubble.
TERRYCompletely oblivious. I almost never get caught staring anymore.
3 (ROBIN)Stalkers paradise.
3 (ROBIN)You went somewhere for a second, just now.
TERRYI used to deliver balloons.
3 (ROBIN)Oh God, Im sorry.
3 (ROBIN)You probably never want to get another whiff of latex or mylar for the rest of your life.
TERRYIm not complaining. Its fine. I actually havent touched a balloon in ages. It was a long time ago. When I first moved here. You know, you take any job at first. Just to get the money flowing. Trickling, even. Once you get past feeling ridiculous, its actually fine.
3 (ROBIN)So, not bad.
TERRYNot bad at all. Its an interesting way to meet people. If they see you.
3 (ROBIN)Dont treat you like the hired help.
TERRYExactly. Its how I met Glenn.
TERRYAgain, not a bad thing.
3 (ROBIN)The delivery was for [him/her]?
TERRYNo, someone in [his/her] office. But it got our paths to cross. Thanks. For the balloon.
3 (ROBIN)Youre welcome.
3 (ROBIN) strolls on ahead.
TERRY lingers, ties the balloon off on one of the chairs, touches it.
Copyright 2013 by Matthew A. Everett