Scene Detail

"There's this huge chunk of my life now that's gone completely out of focus."

From: Heaven and Home
Gender Age Character Name
Male 30s VINCENT McCULLOUGH
 
Setup:
Vincent is lashing out at his younger brother Cian, who insists that their late friend Byron's ghost is haunting him. Byron was Vincent's best friend, despite the fact that Byron was gay and Vincent straight. When Cian came out as a young gay man, Cian and Byron had something in common that made Vincent feel left out. Despite harboring a crush on Byron, Cian could hardly bring himself to visit the hospital when Byron was dying. Vincent was a constant presence at Byron's bedside til the end. But once again, a connection with his best friend is eluding him, and coming easily to his brother. Further compounding the problem is the fact that Vincent's girlfriend Gabby is spending a lot of time with Cian as well.

(This monologue was published by Smith and Kraus Publishers, Inc. in a 2005 collection of monologues for men in their 30s as part of their "Audition Arsenal - 101 Monologues By Type, 2 Minutes and Under." Available online via Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other web book sellers. Smith and Kraus can currently be found at www.smithandkraus.com)

(The full scene which includes this monologue is also available for viewing - the quote link is "Considering you're still palling around with the corpse in question, I think you're in a lousy position to start lecturing me on unresolved issues.")

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Monologue

copyright 1996 by Matthew A. Everett


(Version of the monologue published by Smith and Kraus in 2005 is below...)


VINCENT

I admit it's weird to be fighting for custody of a ghost but I don't care! He should not be haunting you. You're my little brother. I knew him first. I knew him longer. I was at the hospital every day. You visited once. But he comes to you?! He haunts you? He visits you? Talks to you? How do you think that makes me feel?! He was my best friend. My best friend. To you, he was -- what? -- someone convenient to be hung up on so you didn't have to go out and develop any real personal life, take any real chances? Fellow member of your little homosexual sorority? I mean, look at you! Dead two years, he wasn't even your boyfriend, and here you are still playing the widow, haven't even so much as gone out on a date!
I don't care that it's probably all in your head! If you're nuts, you're lucky! I'd give anything to be that kind of crazy. 'Cause you see, I don't have that. No visits. No talks. No friendly ghost. All I've got is past tense. And that shit fades so fast. There's this huge chunk of my life now that's gone completely out of focus. Before, if I got lost or confused or off track, all I'd have to do is talk to him, not even about the problem, just talk about anything, because he understood me. He was everything I'd lived through. Now I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore! And he comes to you.


(Version taken directly from the text of the playscript is below...)


VINCENT

He was my best friend. My best friend. To you, he was -- what? -- someone convenient to be hung up on so you didn't have to go out and develop any real personal life, take any real chances? Fellow member of your little homosexual sorority? I mean, look at you. Dead two years, he wasn't even your boyfriend, and here you are still playing the widow, haven't even so much as gone out on a date -- unless of course you count my girlfriend -- just how many people are you planning on stealing from me anyway?
I was there every day! You visited once. But he comes to you. How do you think that makes me feel?
I don't care that it's probably all in your head.
'Cause you see, I don't have that. All I've got is past tense. And that shit fades so fast. There's this huge chunk of my life now that's gone completely out of focus. Before, if I got lost or confused or off track, all I'd have to do is talk to him, not even about the problem, just talk about anything, because he understood me. He was everything I'd lived through.
Now I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore.
And he comes to you.




copyright 1996 by Matthew A. Everett

© Matthew A Everett
matthewaeverett.com