Scene Detail

"If I could define sex, I wouldn't need to give you a hundred dollars."

From: The Bronze Bitch Flies At Noon
2 Characters
Gender Age Character Name
Male 20s JONATHAN
Male 20s DAVID
 
Setup:
This is the very start of the play. Read on...

********************************************

The full script of "The Bronze Bitch Flies At Noon" is available for purchase as part of "Short Plays, Volume 1" (in hard copy or download form) at

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Scene

copyright 1998 by Matthew A. Everett


The room - a college chemistry lab classroom - is moonlit and in it stands JONATHAN, gangly and bookish, in his early twenties, holding a set of keys and a small brown paper bag.

He waits, nervous.


After a moment, there is a knock at the door to the lab, which startles him. He hesitates.


The knock comes again, more insistent. JONATHAN works up his courage and goes to the door.


JONATHAN

David?

DAVID

(beyond the door, impatient)

Yeah.

JONATHAN lets DAVID in.


DAVID enters quickly. He is also in his early twenties, an athletic young man in a fraternity T-shirt.


After DAVID is in, JONATHAN shuts the door, a little too loudly for DAVID's liking.


DAVID (continued)

Shhh.

DAVID goes to the door and checks out the hall beyond, then closes the door, quietly.


DAVID

OK. We got twenty til the security guy gets back around this way.

JONATHAN

Twenty minutes.

DAVID

Half hour tops. If we're quiet.

Pause.


JONATHAN

So.

DAVID

Crime of the scene, scene of the crime.

JONATHAN

Excuse me?

DAVID

Here. Chem lab.

JONATHAN

Place where we --

DAVID

Where you --

JONATHAN

Met.

DAVID

Decided you wanted to --

JONATHAN

Partners.

DAVID

Lab partners.

JONATHAN

Experimenting.

DAVID

Chemicals only.

JONATHAN

Til --

DAVID

Tonight.

Pause. They look at each other.


JONATHAN

So.

DAVID

A hundred dollar bill. For --

JONATHAN

For -- sex.

DAVID

Define sex.

JONATHAN

If I could define sex, I wouldn't need to give you a hundred dollars.

DAVID

Where's the money?

JONATHAN

A safe place.

DAVID

Cash on delivery.

JONATHAN

Something like that.

DAVID

Where'd you get a hundred dollar bill from anyway?

JONATHAN

My parents. Graduation present. They told me to get -- something I wanted.

DAVID

Oh.

JONATHAN

(quick to add)

But you know it's basically just the whole virgin thing.

DAVID

What whole virgin thing?

JONATHAN

A guy's not supposed to graduate from college without -- you know --

DAVID

Doing it.

JONATHAN

Right. It's -- embarrassing.

DAVID

You think you'll be the only one to put on a cap and gown who didn't lose his cherry before he left the dorm?

JONATHAN

I'm the only one who escaped my high school prom untouched. This is getting pathetic.
And then there's the statue outside the administration building.

DAVID

You mean the bronze bitch?

JONATHAN

Yeah.

DAVID

You don't believe in that, do you?

JONATHAN

Well --

DAVID

The statue just up and flies away the first time a virgin graduates from this college?

JONATHAN

Well, when you say it that way --

DAVID

Urban legend.

JONATHAN

If you can call this place urban.

DAVID

Whatever.

JONATHAN

So you don't -- ?

DAVID

It's a story you use to get into a girl's pants or shame your frat pledge into seeing a hooker. But it's fiction. I mean, it works sometimes, but still --

JONATHAN

How do you know?

DAVID

You can't be the first --

JONATHAN

Well, how do you know? I mean, are you?

DAVID

What?

JONATHAN

Still a -- ?

DAVID

Hell no.

JONATHAN

See?

DAVID

So this is just a business transaction. You don't -- like me.

JONATHAN

(pause)

If I'm killing two birds with one stone, what's it matter to you?

DAVID

(pause)

Why me?

JONATHAN

Why not you?

DAVID

I mean, what about me made you think -- ? 'Cause I got a girlfriend.

JONATHAN

Nora. I know. I've seen her.

DAVID

And we -- you know --

JONATHAN

None of my business.

DAVID

All the time.

JONATHAN

OK, OK, I get the picture.

DAVID

I'm just saying --

JONATHAN

It's not because I thought you -- or that you seemed -- it's just, you know, you're --

DAVID

What?

JONATHAN

Sexy.

DAVID

Really?

JONATHAN

What do you mean, 'really'?

DAVID

I mean, what did you see? What about me do you think is--?

JONATHAN

I don't know. Nothing specific. You just -- are. I mean, what does Nora think? There must be certain things about you she --

DAVID

You don't talk about that stuff.

JONATHAN

Why not?

DAVID

It's either there or it's not, you know.

JONATHAN

It's just there must be something --

DAVID

Is there anything --

JONATHAN

-- you know, that's either --

DAVID

-- you don't talk about?

JONATHAN

-- there or not there, right?

DAVID

This is probably part of your problem.

JONATHAN

What?

DAVID

The talking thing. I mean, do you ever just do anything?

JONATHAN

Like -- ?

DAVID

On a dare. Money or no money. Someone claims you wouldn't be able to kiss a dog on the mouth or grab an underclassman in the shower just to freak him out or drop your pants in the parking lot after a game --

JONATHAN

Or walk up to a guy and offer him --

DAVID

Yeah, but how long did you plot this -- I mean, the keys and --

JONATHAN

Being a good student has its perks.

DAVID

Only if you take advantage, push the limit. How long was that hundred dollar bill sitting in your wallet? You don't wait til the last moment. You make your moment. Take it. Go for it. Like you might not get another. 'Cause you might not.

JONATHAN

Not all of us are --

DAVID

Not talkin' about all of us. You. Just you.

JONATHAN

The way you hold her hand.

DAVID

My girlfriend.

JONATHAN

Nora. Yeah.

DAVID

What about it?

JONATHAN

It's sexy. You don't grab her or hold on too tight, but you're not trying to get away either. It's just -- comfortable. Your fingers -- the two of you, the fingers knit together. You're close to each other or you're roaming all spread out but never quite let go. Like it's a part of you. Like breathing.

DAVID takes JONATHAN's hand.


DAVID

You're paying me to do a lot more than just hold your hand.

JONATHAN

Well, yeah, but --

DAVID

Good -- I mean, that'd be almost too easy -- gettin' paid a hundred for just --

JONATHAN

You asked what I thought was --

DAVID

-- holding your hand.

JONATHAN

-- sexy.

DAVID

I'd be disappointed in you.

JONATHAN

Wouldn't want that.



copyright 1998 by Matthew A. Everett

© Matthew A Everett
matthewaeverett.com