"The truth. That we are the next stage of human evolution. Disease evolves faster than flesh."
|From: How To Date A Werewolf; or, Loneseome, Wild and Blue|
|Either||Adult: Any Age||THIRD ACTOR (3)|
|Either||Adult: Any Age||TERRY|
If youre a werewolf, dating is hard enough. But when your ex is a zombie who just wont go away, that can complicate matters. A romantic comedy with a supernatural twist, because everybodys a monster a couple of days a month.
Terry has recently been diagnosed with latent lycanthropy - a carrier of the werewolf virus, which can be spread through sexual contact. In a restaurant, Terry's date, Robin, reminds them of Terrys doctor, and a memory of a recent medical appointment. When Robin steps off to the restroom, the waiter arrives. The waiter turns out to be Glenn, the zombie remains of Terrys former lover, who has some unfinished personal business with Terry. But then, Terry has unfinished personal business with Glenn as well.
(This play is written to be non-gender-specific, so the actors could be in any combination of male or female. Adjust the pronouns accordingly.)
Characters may be played by either gender, but should probably either be all male, or all female (bisexuality still seems to confuse people, for some reason)
Feel free to mix things up in terms of race, age, disability, etc. If they're old it means one thing, if they're young it means another.
In this scene, Terry meets Alex, a revolutionary for werewolf-kind.
The full text of How To Date A Werewolf (part of Short Plays, volume 3) and other plays can be purchased at http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/matthewaeverett
Copyright 2013 by Matthew A. Everett
TERRY is left alone for a moment.
TERRYIts like Im not even a person anymore. Im just this thing in my blood. Im either superhuman or sub-human. Im an infection.
3 strides on as ALEX,
An armband? A uniform?
3 (ALEX)Thats why we need to take them out.
TERRYTake who out?
3 (ALEX)The normal ones.
TERRYIm not bucking for civil war here. Im just trying to get a date.
3 (ALEX)But they dont want you to get a date. Youre unclean. Im unclean. But its more than that. We know the truth.
3 (ALEX)That we are the next stage of human evolution. Disease evolves faster than flesh. But flesh can play host to the blossoming of the human-viral hybrid. Which is why they either join us, or theyre eliminated. And the beauty of it is we dont need their consent. We can draft them into our army.
TERRYDeliberately infect other people.
3 (ALEX)Why not? You were infected without your knowledge. Why should you allow anyone else that choice?
TERRYBecause Im better, or at least more aware, than the person who gave this to me.
3 (ALEX)Which is why its your duty to spread it.
TERRYThe scary thing is I think you actually believe this.
3 (ALEX)Theyre trying to legislate us into oblivion. First, its required disclosure to sexual partners. Next, its mandatory reporting to the state health authorities of every positive test result. Pretty soon, theyll be telling us who we can and cant marry, or worse putting it up to a popular vote. Then they just start rounding us up and herding us into camps. But if everyone had it, and knew they had it, well then...
TERRYNot everyones a Nazi.
3 (ALEX)Not everyones God. Doesnt keep people from trying to act like it.
TERRYAnd youre not?
3 (ALEX)This is about self-preservation. This is about self-worth. You dont need to settle for the crumbs society is willing to give you. You can take what you want. Embrace the beast within you.
TERRYI appreciate the pep talk, I do. But I cant go down this road with you.
3 (ALEX)Not yet.
3 (ALEX)When they come for you, and they will come for you, we wont stand idly by. You are one of us. We will come and set you free.
TERRYThen Ill be seeing you soon, I guess.
They stare each other down.
3 (ALEX) has done what they can, for now.
3 (ALEX) clasps hands with TERRY, turns, and leaves.
TERRY is left alone.
After a moment or two, TERRY starts to smile, even laugh, almost in spite of (him/her)self.
Copyright 2013 by Matthew A. Everett