Scene Detail

"I don't even really need to say much, do I? I can just stand here, look at you, and your conscience is bound to kick in at some point. Right?"

From: Studpuppy
3 Characters
Gender Age Character Name
Male 20s SPENCER
Female 20s ISOBEL
Male 20s HARRIS
 
Setup:
Diana is trying to diffuse an awkward situation at the same time that her friend Harris is trying to convince her that it is a situation she doesn't need to be in. Diana is a closeted lesbian who has not yet come out to her friend Isobel, a girl whom she met both in church and college classes they share, and on whom Diana harbors a crush. Harris is Diana's flamboyantly gay male friend who knows and loves her for who she is. Harris wants Diana to come out because he thinks it will make her happier. Diana is concerned that Harris' natural flamboyance will tip her friend Isobel off to Diana's sexuality - guilt by association - before she's ready to come out, if indeed that's what she decides to do. Consequently, Diana has not spoken of Harris to Isobel at all, but has told Harris much about Isobel. They have all just run into one another at the mall, and this discrepancy has become obvious. Harris has taken Diana aside to speak with her. Another wrinkle on the situation is that Harris' friend Spencer is working at the mall, walking around in a dog outfit based on Skippy the Wonder Dog, a popular cartoon character. Spencer is not allowed to speak while in the Skippy outfit, something else about his presence which is unsettling to Diana and Isobel. (Spencer can be excised from this scene for acting class purposes, since he has no lines, but his silent presence might add something to the beginning of the scene, as the dog outfit and his required silence is symbolic of the way Diana is hiding part of herself).

The full script is available at

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/studpuppy/1465143

part of Matthew's online script store

http://stores.lulu.com/matthewaeverett
 

Scene

copyright 2001 by Matthew A. Everett


DIANA drags HARRIS who in turn drags SPENCER away from ISOBEL. Once they're at a safe distance, HARRIS and SPENCER just stand side by side looking at DIANA.


HARRIS

I don't even really need to say much, do I? I can just stand here, look at you, and your conscience is bound to kick in at some point. Right?

DIANA is freaked by SPENCER in the dog suit standing next to her.


DIANA (cont'd)

Look, do we have to do this in front of the dog?

HARRIS

It's just Skippy.

DIANA

And I should care because -- ?

HARRIS

Didn't you watch cartoons as a kid?

DIANA

My parents didn't let me watch much other than Sesame Street.

HARRIS

Philistines.

DIANA

I never liked clowns much as a kid.

HARRIS

Well, neither did I, until I learned the size of a man's feet correlates to the size of his --

DIANA

Could we lose Fuzzy, please?

HARRIS

Skippy. And he's not a clown. He's just not supposed to speak.

DIANA

Whatever.

HARRIS

Dogs. Unconditional love. Humans could learn a thing or two.

DIANA

I'm serious, he's creeping me out.

HARRIS

It's my friend Spencer.

SPENCER swats HARRIS with a paw.


HARRIS (cont'd)

-- not that I'm supposed to know that.

SPENCER swats HARRIS again.


HARRIS (cont'd)

-- or share it with anyone. He knows everything. Which, need I mention, is a hell of a lot more than your new best friend Isobel knows about me. Or you.

SPENCER nods for DIANA's benefit.


DIANA

Could he ditch the head at least?

HARRIS

He's forbidden to remove the headgear while on duty.

SPENCER shrugs for DIANA.


DIANA

Look, no offense but could you go keep my friend Isobel company for a minute? Thanks.

DIANA shoves SPENCER in ISOBEL's direction and drags HARRIS further away.


HARRIS

You could do so much better.

DIANA

How?

HARRIS

Gay, for starters.

DIANA

They're not exactly lining up at my door, you know.

HARRIS

Well, you're not exactly advertising, now are you?

DIANA

She's a good friend.

HARRIS

Better friend than you. At least she's shared her entire self with you.

DIANA

I'm sure I don't know everything about her.

HARRIS

Well, you don't have men in common, you know that about her. She know that about you?

DIANA

That's just a part of me.

HARRIS

A part that colors the way you look at the rest of the world.

DIANA

I didn't say it wasn't important.

HARRIS

Just not important enough to share with her. Or is it that she's not important enough to share it with.

DIANA

No, of course not.

HARRIS

Oh, that's right. It's your gay friends that aren't important. You tell everybody about your straight ones.

DIANA

Stop it.

HARRIS

Don't worry. She can't hear us.

DIANA

That's not why.

HARRIS

Forgive me for wanting to get a little of my own back. Call me petty.

DIANA

She and I share the same set of beliefs. That's important to me.

HARRIS

You're interested in a lot more than her soul and we both know that.

DIANA

I wouldn't expect you to understand this.

HARRIS

Boy, you really think the world of me, don't you?

DIANA

I didn't mean --

HARRIS

I believe in God, Diana. I just don't believe in this.

DIANA

This -- ?

HARRIS

This hiding. Sorting people into categories based on what they already know and what you think they can handle.
She's not lobotomized. She's gonna figure it out a lot sooner than you're ready to tell her. And then she's gonna be mad.

DIANA

Mad?

HARRIS

That you lied to her.

DIANA

I'm not lying.

HARRIS

Since when does not telling the whole truth not constitute lying?

DIANA

Like you're one to talk to anyone about not falling for straights.

HARRIS

I freely admit to befriending straight men to get 95 percent of what I need as far as intimacy goes. But I'm still out looking for that other 5 percent. And I'm not kidding myself that it's going to come from them. Heck, I normally end up setting them up with their next girlfriend.

DIANA

5 percent?

HARRIS

20 percent?

DIANA

Try 50-50.

HARRIS

Sex is so beside the point.

DIANA

For you maybe.

HARRIS

Well, maybe if you had the guts to go out and actually get some. Instead, you're willing to pine and waste away like there's something romantic about it. It's just sad and lonely and pathetic - and completely unnecessary. There are plenty of women out there who --

DIANA

Where do I find them?

HARRIS

Maybe if you were more comfortable and open with yourself, they'd find you.
Faith in God, but no faith in people.

DIANA

Just for now, could you tone down the -- the fluttering, and the --

HARRIS

This is beneath you.

DIANA

Harris.

HARRIS

And it's way beneath me.

DIANA

Please.

HARRIS

I won't go back in the closet for my parents, or an uneasy potential boyfriend, but I'm supposed to do it for you? Not even you, for a friend of yours.

DIANA

Just for a minute, half a minute, then we're gone.

HARRIS

(pause)

OK. This once. And only for you.

DIANA

Thank you.

HARRIS

Don't thank me yet. There's a condition attached.

DIANA

Aside from never asking you to do this again.

HARRIS

Aside from that, yes.

DIANA

Name it.

HARRIS

Think about what you're doing. College is a dry run for adulthood. Do you really want to live the rest of your life like this - juggling? "This person knows, this person doesn't"? Ducking and hiding half the time? I think you deserve better than that. I wish you did.




copyright 2001 by Matthew A. Everett

© Matthew A Everett
matthewaeverett.com