Scene Detail

"Such a drama queen."

From: Ally McBeal - Common As The Rain
3 Characters
Gender Age Character Name
Male 20s RICHARD FISH
Male 20s BILLY THOMAS
Female 20s ALLY MCBEAL
 
Setup:
Richard Fish's law firm is representing his friend Jeremy and Jeremy's current boyfriend Alex in a lawsuit brought against them by Jeremy's ex-lover Robert. Jeremy and Robert started a successful computer business together and Robert is using the buyout clause to delay Jeremy and Alex's plans to leave town. Fish is in charge of the case and Ally is second chair.

Opposing counsel in the case is the firm headed by Ally's roommate Renee. The lawyers on the case are Whipper, Fish's ex-lover, and Georgia, Billy's soon-to-be ex-wife.

Ally and Billy were childhood sweethearts. The both also went to the same law school as Fish.

Now Billy is in the process of ending his marriage to Georgia, and trying to give himself an image makeover. However, Renee's gay male secretary Nicholas and Ally's secretary Elaine are wondering if Billy might be in the process of coming out of the closet. Word is getting around the office.

The judge on the case didn't dismiss Robert's case as Fish and Ally had hoped. An evidentiary hearing is scheduled for the next day. Back at the firm, Fish, Ally and Billy talk strategy in the law firm's unisex bathroom.
 

Scene

copyright 2000 by Matthew A. Everett


INT. CAGE/FISH UNISEX BATHROOM - DAY

Billy and Ally at the mirrors. Fish, heard, but from a stall.


FISH

Minor setback. We'll recover.

Fish flushes and emerges from the stall.


BILLY

You want me to give the contract another look?

FISH

Way ahead of me. Good man.

BILLY

I could sit in at the hearing. Extra set of eyes and ears.

FISH

With their gay plaintiff and our two gay defendants, I'd say there are probably enough admitted homosexuals in the room, don't you?

BILLY

What's that supposed to mean?

FISH

Just that you're perceived as gay.

BILLY

What?

Ally laughs in spite of herself.


FISH

There's no shame in it, Billy.

BILLY

I am not gay.

FISH

My friend Jeremy would call this internalized homophobia.

BILLY

Our clients? That's where you're getting this?

FISH

If you must know, it was Elaine reporting about that new male secretary at Renee's firm, and believe me, if anybody should know, it's him.

BILLY

Nicholas.

FISH

Oh, so you've met him.

BILLY

I didn't date him.

FISH

Still, Billy. Gay-dar. These guys are rarely wrong. They have to weed out the baseball-bat-wielding crackers from the garden-variety closet cases.

ALLY

Richard, stop teasing him.

BILLY

Your not laughing would help.

ALLY

Please, Billy, if anyone should know you're not gay...

FISH

You married too young, the sudden divorce, the entourage of paid escorts, the cigars. Some might say you're overcompensating.

BILLY

The cigars? You got me into the cigars.

FISH

Yes, but I haven't been going to men's support groups and dyeing my hair, have I, Billy?

Billy storms out.


FISH (CONT'D)

Such a drama queen.




copyright 2000 by Matthew A. Everett

© Matthew A Everett
matthewaeverett.com