THE SET-UP
Seth is a young Marine serving during wartime. Nicholas is his civilian longtime companion who waits back home. In addition to the strain on their relationship caused by distance and absence, they must hide their love for one another behind code words and secret identities because of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy barring gays and lesbians from serving openly in the United States military. Seth’s mother Anne assists them by providing the cover of a woman’s handwriting for Nicholas’ daily letters, but Nicholas and Seth’s resolve is starting to weaken. Jonas, another young gay Marine in Seth’s unit just coming to terms with his identity, forms an intense bond with Seth overseas.
Seth and Jonas’ first meeting, referred to within this scene, is also available here online under the title
Showers
The follow-up scene between them, prior to the scene below, is also online under the title
Seth and Jonas Alone
“Be kind to animals. Kiss a Marine.”
Emphasis shifts to —
Desert. Night watch.
SETH and JONAS.
Camo. Body armor. Helmet. Goggles. Gloves. Rifle.
Always an eye out.
For the enemy.
And other Marines.
SETH
You need to start hanging out with the other guys.
You need to bond with the unit. Not just me.
JONAS
But they’re not like you.
SETH
Exactly. Don’t close yourself off. Be part of the group. Camouflage. Blend in. Dial it back.
JONAS
But out here, on watch. In the dark. I can talk to you. Really talk to you.
SETH
We need to play the game.
JONAS
Now?
SETH
We need to not talk about this for a while.
*I* need to not talk about this for a while. Please.
JONAS
Pick a cliche, any cliche.
SETH
We’ll break it down.
JONAS
Only the strong survive.
SETH
Define “strong.”
JONAS
Wrong answer.
SETH
Survive what?
JONAS
Wrong question.
SETH
If I don’t know how strong to be, and in response to what obstacle, I’m not sure I can adequately carry out the mission.
JONAS
(makes a negative game show buzzer noise)
Ehhhn!! I’m sorry. A Marine never questions orders. I’m afraid you’re fired.
SETH
That’s OK. I’m gay anyway.
JONAS
Gay? Marine, are you telling me that you are a ho-mo-sex-ual?
SETH
Sir, yes, sir!
JONAS
Do you like to suck cock?
SETH
Sir, yes, sir!
JONAS
Do you take it up the ass, Marine?
SETH
Sir, no, sir!
JONAS
That’s good. A Marine should always be on top.
SETH
But a Marine should always be versatile, sir!
JONAS
Are you arguing with me, Marine?
SETH
Sir, no, sir!
JONAS
When we ship your dishonorably discharged ass home, you make sure you stay on top!
SETH
Sir, yes, sir!
JONAS
Oh, I’m sorry. You’ve been stop-lossed. We’ll need to keep you around until the war is over.
SETH
I thought this particular war never ended.
JONAS
That’s the bitch, really.
SETH
I see.
JONAS
But don’t worry. If the war does end, and you’re still alive, we’ll kick you out so fast it’ll make your head spin.
SETH
Dishonorable discharge?
JONAS
Is there any other kind for a faggot such as yourself?
SETH
I suppose not.
JONAS
And if, instead, you’re injured so severely we have to ship you home and you can’t fight anymore, in addition to that dishonorable discharge, we’ll strip you of your health coverage, too.
SETH
I’d expect nothing less.
JONAS
And if, instead, you’re killed in action, we’ll make sure your survivors never see a penny of your benefits.
SETH
But I’d still get a military funeral?
JONAS
Certainly.
SETH
I can’t marry my boyfriend anyway so the benefits are really a moot point.
JONAS
Good, so they won’t be troubled.
SETH
Say I’m injured, but there’s typing or filing to be done?
JONAS
We might keep you on provisionally.
SETH
God bless America.
JONAS
You’re already here. It’s cheaper than shipping in a temp.
SETH
I love my country. Any way I can help. I’m proud to wear the uniform.
JONAS
You want to help?
SETH
Sir, yes, sir!
JONAS
Be kind to animals. Kiss a Marine.
SETH
There are worse fates.
JONAS
Kiss me.
SETH
Jonas.
JONAS
Kiss me, Seth.
SETH
I can’t spend time with you anymore if you insist on —
JONAS
Am I just not attractive?
SETH
Of course you’re attractive.
JONAS
I’m ugly.
SETH
Jonas, just because I can’t —
JONAS
Won’t.
SETH
Can’t. Doesn’t mean you’re not desirable.
JONAS
Then why not.
SETH
I have a husband back home. Nicholas. You’ve seen his picture. You’ve seen me writing to him. You know this. I tell you this. You are the only one I can tell this.
JONAS
And you’re the only one. I grew up in a state that was one big walk-in closet. I grew up in a town so small it isn’t on most maps. You’re the only one.
SETH
I can’t be.
JONAS
Meeting you was –
SETH
A lucky accident.
JONAS
A miracle.
SETH
Don’t make me regret trusting you.
JONAS
You can call me Nicholas.
SETH
No.
JONAS
You want to.
SETH
I’d kiss you.
JONAS
I wouldn’t stop you.
SETH
Watch is over soon.
JONAS
Sunrise. Vampires go back to the crypt.
SETH
You can’t even really feel me with all this on.
JONAS
I imagine.
SETH
Stop.
JONAS
I remember that first day. The showers.
SETH
Stop.
JONAS
Seeing you. All of you. The tiny streams of water pulling the sand down and out of the creases in your skin. The lines of muscle. The places the sun had burned you, and the places it couldn’t reach. The mounds, and planes. The gooseflesh. The scars and scabs. Everything that makes you human and beautiful. Breathing. In and out. Caressing. Soap and dirt and blood and sand.
SETH
You have to stop.
JONAS
You don’t want me to.
SETH
You know I don’t. You talk to me when we’re alone… the way he can’t. The things I need to hear and never do. The things he doesn’t dare say. I don’t dare say. The things the other people hear and say so easily and never even think about it. They take it for granted because they’ve never had it taken away from them. They never knew it mattered.
JONAS
It matters.
SETH
Yes.
JONAS
I’ve never talked to anyone like that. The way I talk to you. The way I want you to talk to me. No one’s ever talked to me like that.
SETH
They will.
JONAS
You sound so sure when you say that.
SETH
Because I never thought it would happen to me.
JONAS
Talk to me like that.
SETH
I can’t.
JONAS
You won’t.
SETH
Those words are his. I have to save them for him or none of this means anything.
JONAS
It’s not fair.
SETH
I’m not arguing that.
JONAS
I need to hear those words just as much as you do.
SETH
I wouldn’t even mean them.
JONAS
I wouldn’t care.
SETH
I couldn’t.
JONAS
I’m not asking you to. Care.
SETH
Yes. You are.
JONAS
Why do you say that? How can you know that?
SETH
I know you’re not pretending.
JONAS
I’m taking off my glove.
SETH
Don’t.
JONAS
So shoot me.
SETH
I’m not taking off mine.
JONAS
I’ll touch your nose then.
SETH
Don’t.
JONAS
No one’s going to see. Even if they did — I’m brushing something away. Something you need a finger, a nail, the rough calluses and oils and rivulets of a fingerprint to catch and brush away.
SETH
I don’t care who sees. I’ll feel it.
JONAS
I want you to.
SETH
You’re cruel.
JONAS
I don’t mean to be. I don’t have someone I can think of at night like you do. I don’t remember someone’s warmth. The friction. Like you do. Don’t deny me this.
SETH
Jonas.
JONAS
There. It’s done.
SETH
Don’t touch my cheek.
JONAS
Too late.
SETH
What did I ever do to you?
JONAS
You were kind to me. You let me. Didn’t kill you, did it?
SETH
No.
JONAS
Thank you.
SETH
Put your glove back on. Please.
(photo: (left to right) Nick James Parker as Seth and Alex Carlson as Jonas in the 2008 production of “Leave” by AfterDark Theatre Company at University of Minnesota-Morris, and the Bryant-Lake Bowl in Minneapolis; photography by Alex Clark)
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