THE SET-UP
Seth is a young Marine serving during wartime. Nicholas is his civilian longtime companion who waits back home. In addition to the strain on their relationship caused by distance and absence, they must hide their love for one another behind code words and secret identities because of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy barring gays and lesbians from serving openly in the United States military. Seth’s mother Anne assists them by providing the cover of a woman’s handwriting for Nicholas’ daily letters, but Nicholas and Seth’s resolve is starting to weaken. Tyson, a former Army soldier who got fed up with “don’t ask, don’t tell” and didn’t reenlist, now works alongside Nicholas, providing temptation as well as a reality check.
The full scene this speech comes from is also available online under the title:
Tyson Makes A Move
Nicholas has just fended off a sexual advance from Tyson, and tries to explain to his friend and co-worker why he hasn’t seen Seth’s face in a long time, and the toll it’s taking.
“Except the second anyone catches the two of us, looking at each other across thousands of miles of ocean and sky and sand, they’ll know.”
NICHOLAS
It’s been so long since I’ve seen him, the pictures, the frozen poses, are all that seem real to me any more.
I know computers and phones have built-in cameras now. That, plus the internet, problem solved.
Except the second anyone catches the two of us, looking at each other across thousands of miles of ocean and sky and sand, they’ll know. He’ll look at me, and I’ll look at him, and they’ll know. We won’t even have to say anything. Then we’ll probably both start crying and they’ll really know. You don’t think we’ve thought about any of this? Every single solitary kind of contact we could have on a regular basis – phone, video, email – dead giveaway. We’re pushing it with the letters as it is.
So any kind of connection we have just keeps getting fuzzier. I can remember the way he moves, what he feels like, when I touch him, the way his body collides and twines with mine. But I can’t see it, in my head, anymore. The memory doesn’t have a moving picture. He’s slipping away, the thought of him, and it scares me. Letting myself be weak with a stranger would just make it worse.
(photo: (left to right) Jack C. Kloppenborg as Nicholas and Derek Ewing as Tyson in the 2011 production of “Leave” by Urban Samurai Productions; photography by Ron Ravensborg; scenic design by Erica Zaffarano)
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