THE SET-UP
Seth is a young Marine serving during wartime. Nicholas is his civilian longtime companion who waits back home. In addition to the strain on their relationship caused by distance and absence, they must hide their love for one another behind code words and secret identities because of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy barring gays and lesbians from serving openly in the United States military. Seth’s mother Anne assists them by providing the cover of a woman’s handwriting for Nicholas’ daily letters, but Nicholas and Seth’s resolve is starting to weaken. Jonas, another young gay Marine in Seth’s unit just coming to terms with his identity, forms an intense bond with Seth overseas. Tyson, a former Army soldier who got fed up with “don’t ask, don’t tell” and didn’t reenlist, now works alongside Nicholas, providing temptation as well as a reality check. When Seth returns home for an unexpected leave, with Jonas at his side, and post-traumatic stress following him from the battlefield, old relationships are tested, and new ones bloom, including between Tyson and Jonas. This new relationship led to the revelation of Jonas and Seth’s relationship overseas.
Previous to the scene below, Nicholas and Seth had an argument about it, leaving things unresolved. That scene is also available here online under the title:
Betrayal Argument
And Seth’s mother Anne had a discussion with him in the wake of that argument, just prior to the scene below with Tyson. That scene is also available here online under the title:
Time To Leave
“I’m not hiding. I’m not looking over my shoulder. I’m not parsing every word, afraid someone might find out. I’m right out here in the open, baby, where everyone can see me. I’m not just out of the closet, I’ve completely dismantled it and put in some French doors. So who’s the coward?”
Emphasis shifts as —
TYSON appears to confront SETH.
TYSON
All deference to your service overseas and everything but are you out of your mind?
SETH
I don’t see how this is any of your business.
TYSON
Well, forgive me, but Nicholas is a friend of mine —
SETH
That’s rich.
TYSON
And I happen to…think Jonas is a pretty stand-up guy, too, so-
SETH
Jealous?
TYSON
Jealous of what? You and Jonas and your glorified heavy petting sessions? What the two of you did or didn’t do before I knew him, that’s none of my business. However, I wasn’t involved in a supposedly monogamous relationship at the time.
SETH
Coward.
TYSON
I was wondering when that was gonna come up.
SETH
You deny it?
TYSON
I’m not the one masquerading as someone I’m not. I’m not the one pretending to have a girlfriend named Nikki and a dog I love oh so very much. I’m not hiding. I’m not looking over my shoulder. I’m not parsing every word, afraid someone might find out. I’m right out here in the open, baby, where everyone can see me. I’m not just out of the closet, I’ve completely dismantled it and put in some French doors. So who’s the coward?
SETH
Some of us are still willing to make a sacrifice.
TYSON
But everyone signs up for the sacrifice. Everyone knows they could be killed. They’re asking guys like you and me and Jonas to double down on that. We’re supposed to die inside before someone finishes off our bodies. The one sacrifice should be enough. You should be allowed to live until you die.
SETH
It’s so easy for all you people living on the outside, watching from the sidelines. So easy to pass judgment on my choices.
TYSON
I haven’t always been on the sidelines and you know it.
SETH
And yet you’re still here, and I’m still over there.
TYSON
I’m back here fighting so you can serve openly. I’m doing things that your husband and your parents don’t dare do, for fear of outing you. Me? I have no connection to you. I’m not throwing suspicion on anyone but myself. And they don’t have to ask. I tell, willingly, proudly. Just as proudly as I served, and would serve again. But not on their terms. I won’t allow them to turn me into a hypocrite.
SETH
Like me.
TYSON
You said it, Devil Dog. Not me.
SETH
Good Marines, like Jonas and me, we need to stay. Recruiting’s getting more and more difficult.
TYSON
Well, who’s fault is that?
Besides, you don’t need to worry your pretty little head about their recruiting quotas. They just lower their standards.
SETH
Not the Marines.
TYSON
There’s more than one branch of the armed forces, skippy.
SETH
Don’t call me that.
TYSON
They’re issuing waivers for people with all kinds of interesting things on their resumes – bomb threats, sex crimes, vehicular homicide.
SETH
You’re making. my argument. for me.
TYSON
Gotta avoid letting any gay people in because, you know, the important thing is that none of these minor league thugs has a boyfriend. Unit cohesion should be just fine.
SETH
The longer that quality gay recruits can avoid getting kicked out, the more good we can do.
TYSON
You’re taking getting kicked out as a given. As if it’s an acceptable fact of life.
SETH
Can’t change the law of the land all by myself, now can I?
TYSON
Nicholas used to talk about you like you were gonna tear down all the walls, not be a rat running around in the maze they set up for you.
SETH
He talks to you.
TYSON
He’s gotta talk to someone. He can’t talk to you.
SETH
So I’m making the fact of you possible.
TYSON
That really bugs you, doesn’t it?
SETH
Yeah.
TYSON
In all this time, he’s never asked you to quit?
SETH
No.
TYSON
Then he must love you more than his own life because he’s certainly not living one right now. Because you’re not here. And he can’t reach you.
SETH
But don’t you feel like you’re letting them down? The other guys that are still over there? Abandoning them?
TYSON
Man, it’s like the soft spot on the top of a baby’s head – you just can’t help yourself, you gotta keep poking it.
I was, still am, very good at what I do. I would defuse tough situations and fight my way through ones that were beyond defusing.
It’s the most important thing I will ever do in my life and I am pissed as hell that they took that from me for no good reason. I didn’t abandon anyone. I was driven out.
I just couldn’t do it anymore, what you’re doing, I tried.
My time was up, I chose not to reenlist because I knew I’d just be signing up for more of the same. I was not gonna fall more in love with that job and sit around quivering in fear that some day they would kick me out because I went to a coffee shop and held hands with my boyfriend in public. Or got a letter or an email or a phone call from a guy I wasn’t related to. Or a man picks me up at the airport and gives me a hug.
Because it’s not just sex they’re scared of, it’s the illusion of intimacy between two men that’s not properly sanctioned by the U.S. armed forces. Which is hilarious, because let’s be honest, the military is the most homoerotic profession in the known universe. Large groups of men, obsessed with their physical appearance, eating together, showering together, exercising together, sleeping together. Seriously, just take random footage of the most ordinary day on the job, slap a porn music soundtrack on it and bingo, instant jackoff material. And they’re worried about me?! Gimme a break.
SETH
Quitting only “sounds” like a reasonable option. You know better. You know who creates the bubble of safety this country lives in. Not the rich people. Not the politicians. Not their children who never have to serve. It’s people like me and Jonas, and all the guys in our unit. If I quit, or I give them a reason to kick me out, the world gets a little less safe. My friends, my family, over there and right here, get a little less safe. Maybe my government’s too stupid to understand how wrong that is.
But if I’m smarter than that, then I should keep my head down, and keep fighting for what I believe in. Shouldn’t I? I don’t think I can walk away from it all like you did.
TYSON
Don’t walk away. Fight.
SETH
Fight who? Fight what? Point me at a target.
TYSON
Fight the stupidity. Nobody cares when you’re saving their ass what you do with your own ass on your own time.
SETH
I can’t fight this alone.
TYSON
You’re not alone. They’ve just conditioned you to think you are.
SETH
It’s the most important thing I’ll ever do in my life.
TYSON
Apart from Nicholas.
SETH
Apart from Nicholas.
TYSON
Keep your priorities in order. What’s so horrible? Stand up to them.
SETH
And lose everything.
TYSON
Is there anything they can do to take Nicholas away from you? I don’t think so. That guy is welded to you. There’s no shaking him. He will stand by you when everyone else melts away, no matter what they throw at him. You know that, right?
SETH
Yeah.
TYSON
He’s the one thing that really matters, right?
SETH
Right.
TYSON
So, what are you afraid of?
(photo: (left to right) Derek Ewing as Tyson and Ryan Henderson as Seth in the 2011 Minneapolis production of “Leave” by Urban Samurai Productions; photography by Ron Ravensborg; scenic design by Erica Zaffarano)
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