THE SET UP
Diana is a closeted lesbian who has not yet come out to her friend Isobel, a girl whom she met both in church and college classes they share, and on whom Diana harbors a crush. Diana finds it hard to watch Isobel relate to her high-school friend Linc. Linc is openly gay. Isobel knows this, but is still carrying a torch for him, though she’d be the first to deny it. The two young women are in a dress shop at the local mall, after a day of shopping during which the two of them have grown still closer. In an earlier discussion of religion, they decided they’d be referring to god as a “she” for the day. Diana feels like today might be the day to come out to her friend, and now might be the time.
“So you haven’t just been hiding from me, you’ve been hiding behind me.”
Emphasis shifts to DIANA in another pool of light.
ISOBEL calls out to her from the near dark.
ISOBEL
Ready?
DIANA
Ready as I’ll ever be.
ISOBEL emerges from the dark in an evening dress. It’s not completely zipped up in the back but she still looks amazing.
DIANA can’t find the words.
ISOBEL
Well?
DIANA is still stunned into silence.
ISOBEL (cont’d)
Oh. Wait. Hang on. Zip me up in back, that’ll fix it.
DIANA
It — doesn’t need fixing.
ISOBEL
Still. Come on, full effect, zip me up.
DIANA somehow gets her hands to work as ISOBEL presents her bare back to be zipped up.
Once zipped, ISOBEL turns around to face DIANA.
ISOBEL (cont’d)
So?
ISOBEL does a quick spin to give DIANA the full effect.
DIANA
Isobel, I’m gay.
ISOBEL
What do you think of the dress?
DIANA
I’m serious.
ISOBEL
So am I; what do you think of the dress?
DIANA
It’s beautiful. You’re — beautiful. And I’m —
ISOBEL
Gay. I heard you.
DIANA
So?
ISOBEL
What do you want me to say?
DIANA
I’m having a hard enough time with my end of the conversation. I was hoping you could handle yours.
ISOBEL
You must not think very much of me.
DIANA
What?
ISOBEL
You thought I couldn’t deal with this? It’s not like I haven’t been through it before.
DIANA
Well, no —
ISOBEL
Did you honestly think I might start screaming the word “Dyke!” repeatedly at the top of my lungs and make a beeline for the nearest exit?
DIANA
No.
ISOBEL
Condemn you to hell?
DIANA
No.
ISOBEL
Then you’re just a coward?
DIANA
No!
ISOBEL
Well, it’s not like you didn’t have an opportunity or two – in the last couple of hours, much less the last couple of months.
DIANA
I was just afraid you might not —
ISOBEL
Diana, you know me. You’re not honestly still afraid I might suddenly turn into some Bible-thumping homophobe, are you?
DIANA
Well, no, I guess —
ISOBEL
Are you dating anyone?
DIANA
No.
ISOBEL
So you haven’t just been hiding from me, you’ve been hiding behind me.
DIANA
What?
ISOBEL
Hang with the straight girl you have a crush on instead of going out and actually taking any real risks, looking for someone who might actually like you back. I’m not a friend, I’m just a human shield.
DIANA
Risk. Choice. Free will. No secrets. What good is any of that?! God knows everything and even He —
ISOBEL
She!
DIANA
She! She has all the power in the universe and even She can’t make someone She loves love Her back.
ISOBEL
(Pause.)
You know what? Why don’t you go on ahead. I’m gonna have to get out of this dress, maybe try a few more before I buy, it could be a while.
DIANA
I can wait.
ISOBEL
I’ll see you later.
ISOBEL walks off into the dark, leaving DIANA alone.
(photo: 2004 production by Edinboro University of Pennsylvania (Edinboro, PA); l-r, Jessica Surdyk as Isobel, and Alicia Rutkowski as Diana)
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